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If by help you mean "post her eBay auctions with mislabeled discreet seeking sex titles just bad enough to throw off any prospective buyers, with the exception of a few select bidders who or not simply be alternate accounts you created to help yourself to her tragiy mislabeled items at a premium discount," then yes, you should TOTALLY help her. HER: "What do you mean, it sold for fifty dollars!? That was an 18 karat -! The band was platinum!" YOU: "Yes, but platinum's not very popular right now. All the real money's in palladium." HER: "The stuff they use in catalytic converters!?" YOU: "Cars gotta go fast you know." HER: "Well what about my gold jewelry?" YOU: "Oh, you have GOLD? Oh, I'm so sorry. No one buys gold jewelry anymore." HER: "But my necklaces and pendants and other assorted forms of bling!" YOU: "Nope. No bling." HER: "Can you get me anything for them?" YOU: *exasperated sigh* "Fine, I'll *guess* what I can do, but silver is so much hotter than gold these days." HER: "It is?" YOU: "Yes, ever since the silver standard took effect." HER: "What silver standard? I don't have any silver!" YOU: "Sure you do. Got any fillings?" HER: "A few, I suppose." YOU: "Well, then you're sitting on a veritable gold- uh, I mean, silver mine! Here, you just take these-" *hand over a pair of pliers* HER: "And just WHAT do I do with these!?" YOU: " well, that silver's not going to extract itself." HER: "Won't it hurt?" YOU: "Do you hear yourself right now? 'Won't it hurt?' 'What do I do with these pliers?' 'What do you mean, you only got two thousand for the?' Good God, it's like pulling teeth with you, I swear!" HER: *glare* Yes. Yes, you should totally help her. "Help." *cough

Anyone up on the NORTH side? discrete ladies in Wichita Kansas.